Bizarre gifts for book lovers on Valentine's Day
For Valentine's Day, America goes all out: This year, CNN says enamored lovers are set to exchange more than 200 million roses, 145 million cards and 58 million pounds of chocolate.
For those who eschew the traditional, the pressure is on to find the perfect gift. If your lover loves books, there's a wide library of gifts out there: everything from bookstore-scented candles to signed first editions.
Some of these literary gifts, however, perhaps ought to be shelved under "questionable."
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Romeo and Juliet Valentine candy bouquet
This Valentine's Day gift basket is pink and red and tragic all over. It comes complete with two plush monkeys — Romeo and Juliet — entwined in a loving embrace.
Sure, they're cute, but did the basket designers ever get to the end of the play? Hold tight, dear monkeys, and avoid any duels.
"Fifty Shades of Grey" bear
When is a teddy bear not so cute and cuddly?
When it's dressed as the dominating Christian Grey character from the erotic bestseller "Fifty Shades of Grey."
The fuzzy friend comes complete with a suit, satin tie and a set of miniature handcuffs. The Vermont Teddy Bear Company promises it's the perfect gift for those who "want to dominate Valentine's Day." Of all the literary characters to inspire romance, it's unclear if this was a bear-y good choice.
Paperback cologne
Paperbacks give off a particular, stuffy smell — and now you can too.
The Demeter Fragrance Library claims to have bottled the elusive scent of books "with just a touch of the musty smell of aged paper." Their literary cologne has received somewhat mixed reviews; some rave about the scent while one user warns against it, "unless you want to smell like stock from Office Depot."
Love letter napkins
These could be the perfect touch for a romantic dinner: napkins printed with love notes by famous authors.
The trouble is, they didn't seem to choose actual love notes. There's Emily Dickinson writing to her sister-in-law and D.H. Lawrence writing to his mistress's husband — a bold move, though not a traditional love note.
Then there's Mark Twain writing to a child about his pets. Do you find your heart aflutter?
Love letter for hire
Want to express your undying affection in a beautiful letter to your beloved, but don't actually want to write it yourself? There's a service for that.
Love Letter for Hire promises total confidentiality and a swoon-worthy letter to your love. You pick the type of love — platonic, romantic, erotic — and they'll put pen to paper.
Nothing says "love" like a letter written by a stranger you found online. They even write wedding vows and poetry — for a price.