Study: Half of your friends may not actually be your friends

A group of young women taking a selfie.
File photo: A group of young women taking a selfie.
Clive Brunskill/Getty Images File

Wondering if your friends like you as much as you like them isn't just paranoid thinking according to a new study from MIT.

The study shows that only half of the people you consider friends think your relationship is mutual.

So what about the other half?

"I think we have an unacknowledged loneliness epidemic," author Shasta Nelson said on MPR News with Kerri Miller.

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Nelson and Miller were joined by Amy Banks, a psychiatrist and director of the Jean Baker Miller Training Institute at Wellesley.

Both guests agreed that consistency, communication and relationship evaluation is key.

Nelson said in her experience nearly all people view themselves as the primary giver in their friendships.

"We want to feel safe. We want to feel known," said Nelson about what we want from a friend.

In order to maintain lasting bonds you need to think about what you require from the relationship, as well as what you're putting into it, she said.

Actually having a conversation with your friend about those feelings is where it gets challenging, Banks added.

"What that puts you in is a position where you might be rejected," Banks said. "And nobody likes that, that puts you in very real physical pain."

To listen to the full conversation, click the play button above.