How to spot a freshman

I'm walking out of Middlebrook looking for a place where outsiders like me can get some breakfast.

I run across a rather frazzled-looking David Kosal, a computer science freshman from Apple Valley who's wandering around with a campus map and looking confused.

I check my watch. It's 9 a.m.

Guess who's about to be late for the 9:05?

He's looking desperately for Regis Center -- but he's heading downhill toward the river.

Not good.

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David, buddy: If you're going to use your map, you can't be holding it upside down.

Try it this way. Atta boy. Regis is right over there -- and you've got about two minutes left.

"Thanks, you're a life-saver," he says.

Heh, Kid, I'm just a tourist.