Heavy snow and difficult travel expected again, heaviest snow in southern Minnesota

MPR News helps you turn down the noise and build shared understanding. Turn up your support for this public resource and keep trusted journalism accessible to all. 

Turn Up Your Support

Mark Lukach and his wife were doing what most twenty-something couples are doing a few years into a marriage:  They were building their careers and planning a family.  Until the night he got a glimpse into a future that would be different than the one they'd imagined.

 to talk about how his life and relationship changed after his wife's diagnosis. 

How mental illness affects the whole family

"My whole philosophy is that mental illness is really a shared experience by family members," he said. "That means oftentimes Giulia will go see her psychiatrist and I might be in that meeting as well. It's not because I'm trying to necessarily dictate things, but it's because I'm the one who's going to be with her at home and the psychiatrist might see her only once a month or even once every couple months. To be able to share what I've been experiencing and seeing in addition to what Giulia is experiencing, I think makes it such a better approach for how to manage things."

Balancing roles as husband, father to a 3-year-old

"The emotional space of going from being fun-loving dad to then really patient and empathetic spouse while she's having these delusions or these suicidal impulses, it's really, really tough to do that and still then say, 'How am I feeling through all this because I'm exhausted by all this,'" he said.
Lukach said he's better at calling for help from others.

Mark Lukach on staying by his wife’s side through her mental illness by MPR News

Lukach said being a caretaker, spouse and dad to his young son often leaves him running ragged. He's found surfing and trail running as useful physical outlets where he can process and reflect on life's stresses. 

Why the 'healthy times' are often the hardest on a marriage

Why ‘healthy times’ during mental illness strain a marriage by MPR News

Do you have a partner who is coping with mental illness? Tell us how that has reshaped your relationship in comments below.

Shows

Big Books & Bold Ideas with Kerri Miller

Kerri Miller Feature

"There's no handbook on how to survive your young wife's psychiatric crisis," writes Mark Lukach. He spoke with MPR News' Kerri Miller.

Mark Lukach and his wife were doing what most twenty-something couples are doing a few years into a marriage:  They were building their careers and planning a family.  Until the night he got a glimpse into a future that would be different than the one they'd imagined. Mark writes:  "There's no handbook on how to survive your young wife's psychiatric crisis.  The person you love is no longer there, replaced by a stranger who is shocking and exotic."

How mental illness changes a marriage

Go Deeper.

Like this?