On a road trip with his father's ashes
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When Allan Johnson's father was on his death bed, Johnson asked him a very important question: "Where do you want me to spread your ashes?"
His father looked at him — and shrugged.
"He said, 'I don't care. It doesn't matter to me.'"
Johnson let it pass.
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It wasn't until three years after his father's death that Johnson realized that it might not have mattered to his father, but it did matter to him.
He couldn't stop thinking about the ashes. They were sitting in a box in his house, untouched. His father had lived all over the world, without a strong connection to a single place, and Johnson couldn't decide what to do.
No place seemed right — every idea seemed to lack significance and meaning.
Finally, he decided to hit the road.
Johnson, who has since written a book about the experience called "Not From Here," joined MPR News' Tom Weber to talk about his journey.
"I decided to go on a road trip," Johnson said. "I put his ashes in a backpack and I flew to Minneapolis." He retraced his father's early life, from his hometown of Wells, Minn., to his high school years in South Dakota. Then he drove to Iowa, to where his own great-grandparents had first settled as farmers after emigrating from Norway.
"I spent the better part of 10 days and 2,000 miles by myself," Johnson said. In that time, he contemplated where his father belonged — and where he himself belonged. He thought about the history of the land, and how Native Americans had been displaced. He thought about how his family had no indigenous ties, but was here nonetheless.
With all these thoughts in his head, he worried about not finding the right place. Then, he stopped into a small town diner.
The cook behind the counter was the only person Johnson told his story to during the entire trip. After listening, the cook simply said: "Well, I guess you'll know it when you find it."
In the end, Johnson did — he settled on a spot he describes in his book.
"I did the best I could," he said. "I think I got him as close as I could to wherever he was supposed to be — if there even is such a place."
