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Adding guns to the world of the Brothers Grimm drastically reduces death rates, according to a study — well, OK, according to a couple of stories published by the NRA.

So far, there are only two data points. And they're imaginary. But the trendline is clear: In the NRA's reimagined fairy tales, putting rifles in the hands of children creates a safer world.

 site published its first reimagined fairy tale — 

On Twitter, inspired by the series, a few people have been inventing their own #NRAfairytales, imagining tales that begin with "once upon a time" and end with a bang.


"Prince traveling kingdom 2 find owner of glass slipper shot dead by gun wielding evil stepmother," 

.
"The porridge was too cold, the bed was too hard, but this AK47 is just right," 

But the NRA's own stories — written by Amelia Hamilton — are noteworthy for their nearly complete lack of violence.

Fairy tales, of course, were notoriously gory and grim in their original incarnations. But the NRA's versions take place in a utopia filled with empowered and unharmed children.

Take Little Red Riding Hood. In the original, a young girl and her grandmother are both devoured. A woodcutter with an ax kills the wolf and rips him open, saving the two women.

, Red walks through the woods with a rifle in her hands, warding off the wolf along the path. And at her grandmother's house, the situation was defused without a single bullet being fired:


The wolf is carried away by the hunter, to an undefined but unpleasant end.

Or the classic Hansel and Gretel, where two children are abandoned in the woods to die, then imprisoned as food and slave labor, until a witch is killed by, um, forcible cremation.

, the family's hunger prompts not the abandonment of the children, but a hunting trip. The two kids set out into the woods to feed the family. Gretel takes down a 10-point buck before they head home and, as in the original, get lost in the woods.


When they see the gingerbread house, they aren't tempted to eat it — they're fully loaded with meat, after all — but they do save two boys who were trapped by the witch. The scene features a rifle, but it proves to be unnecessary:

Guns reappear when the well-armed local populace march on the witch's cottage. The villainess is imprisoned by the local sheriff, "to be taken away so she could never harm another child."

Maybe they'll inspire some other advocacy and lobbying groups to defang disturbing fairy tales.

Will the pharmaceutical industry take the bite out of Snow White's poisoned apple? Will PETA soothe the angst of the Boy Who Cried Wolf, when the townspeople realize the joys of an animal-free life and set loose their sheep? Will agribusiness harness Jack's beanstalk?


The NRA series has inspired some criticism, as 

: Gun control advocacy groups have decried it for advancing gun culture. Gun rights advocates, meanwhile, have mocked liberal objections to the stories, pointing to the sheer horror of the original tales.
But the NRA is pretty clear about its own intent: The stories are tagged "Fun Friday" and "Just for fun" on the site.  Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.

Arts and Culture

The Thread® - Books and Literary News

The NRA is publishing a series of twists on classic tales -- picture Gretel with a rifle in the witch's gingerbread house. The stories themselves are remarkably devoid of violence.

NRA rewrites fairy tales with more firearms, less bloodshed

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