Would you learn a second language for love?
When Lauren Collins fell for a Frenchman, she didn't speak French. But they made it work, mainly because he spoke English.
As their relationship evolved, though — she met his family, they got married — Collins couldn't help but worry that there was a one-sided nature to their conversations.
What was she missing by not speaking his native language? Were there ideas that they couldn't share because they couldn't speak French together?
When they moved to Geneva, Collins became determined to learn French, and to open up whatever doors had been locked by their English-only communication.
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Her new book, "When in French," is a look at what it means to fall in love in a second language.
"I had this husband with whom I could communicate with, but I felt like there was probably something missing. He could come into my territory, but I couldn't reciprocate with forays into his. Not to mention all my neighbors and fellow shoppers and people I would run into," Collins told MPR News host Kerri Miller.
For Collins, who is a staff writer at The New Yorker, not being able to find the right words was a particular kind of hurdle. "I'm a writer, I'm someone who relies on my words, I'm a word person by trade. How else can I convey my personality?"
She tried to make up for that language barrier when interacting with her in-laws: "You become the person who volunteers to wash the dishes or who always shows up with a lovely gift. It is interesting to have to develop other strengths or strategies."
Collins finally buckled down to master French after watching the American actor Bradley Cooper launch into flawless French on a television interview. He said he'd picked it up studying abroad in college.
"'If Bradley Cooper can do it, so can I' was my rally cry," Collins joked.
Learning a second language as an adult, however, can be a trial. Collins writes in the book: "To be successful at learning a language, one has to undertake a form of time travel, regressing to a child-like stage of unembarrassed receptivity."
"It's a triumph in the end if you succeed, but all the way along the road, learning a language is a total humiliation. The only way you can survive the knocks and the bumps and bruises you incur every day in the course of your quest is to be like a kid and get up and brush yourself off," Collins said.
For the full interview on "When in French" with Lauren Collins, use the audio player above.