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It’s a club no parent wants to be a part of: parents of a school shooting survivor. Hundreds of parents at Annunciation Catholic Church and School are grappling with that reality. 

Monday marks two months since a gunman opened fire, killing two children and injuring 28 others. And in that time, parents have been gathering together to grieve, heal and “move their feet.”

Ivan Ayala has three kids who attend Annunciation. His pre-kindergartener and kindergartener were not in the church at the time of the shooting. But Ayala’s 7-year-old son was. He was injured by debris. 

Ayala sat down for a conversation with Minnesota Now host Nina Moini about how his family has been healing and how he and other parents are mobilizing to call for change. 

The following was edited for length and clarity. Use the audio player above to listen to the full interview. 

About two weeks after the tragedy, they had a Mass just for the families. We told our son that we were going to go, all of us. And it was the minute he heard that, immediately broke down and started crying. And it was like this fear in his eyes of, “I never want to go to Mass again.”  

And luckily, we had gotten word that some of the Minnesota Wild players were going to be there. And so we’re like, “Well, you know, after Mass, the Wild players are coming.” That got him through all of Mass. 

Still to this day, he’s hypervigilant about things. If he sees people, “Who’s that? Why are they wearing that?” 

Loud noise is a big problem. If his sister slams her drawer upstairs and he hears it, “What was that?” Just right away. Really alert. 

To this day, [he] wakes up every night in the middle of the night. He goes back to sleep, but he comes into our bedroom every single day. That was not the case before. 

He still has a fragment behind his ear from what happened. It’s very small, but it’s, you know, a reminder and a symbol of what occurred.

You work as a therapist. How are you thinking about mental health reform and gun control?

Regarding the mental health, to me, in school, you need to feel a sense of belonging. And when you are in isolation and you’re on your computer and you’re poisoning your brain with these terrible messages, what are we doing for these individuals that start to get lost and need support and need guidance?

Let’s look at putting in more money so that kids do feel a sense of belonging, and they feel that they have friends, and they feel that they have a place to go, that they’re not isolated. 

And then the other part is to make sure that we are monitoring this media that is very easily accessible. And what are we going to do to hold people accountable in that way? 

AR-15s, they don‘t serve another purpose. It’s something that is not even for hunting. The purpose of that tool is, in essence, to kill things and to kill them quickly and to kill them in large quantities. 

And then we go and talk about this in a public forum with politicians, and we just get it being normalized, as if it’s, “Oh, well, that’s just a part of life.” And that to me is bizarre. That is not a healthy way of thinking about something like this.

I love cars. I would love to take a Formula 1 car down I-35 or I-94 and just punch the gas and just hit 200 mph. That would be awesome. And everyone would say “You can’t do that. That car is meant for a race track.” 

No one is taking away your minivan, no one is taking away your convertible. No one’s taking away your Harley. They’re just saying you can’t have a Formula 1 car. It’s more car than anybody needs on a highway. Similar to this weapon, right? Nobody’s saying you can’t go duck hunting, anything like that. There’s no reason for this in our society.

What types of conversations are you having with other Annunciation parents?

For the parents in the community, these hundreds of parents, this is now our mission forever. I would say that it’s more of coming together with a plan as a whole. And I can’t speak too much on that, but more of that will be coming. 

We want something that’s going to be effective. We don’t just want talking points. We want to make sure that change happens. And it doesn’t matter if it happens next year in the next session of the government, it doesn’t matter if it happens in five years and 10 years, 20 years. We will continue doing this until the day I die.

Are you satisfied by reactions from lawmakers? Do you feel seen and heard in this moment?

I think we’re seen and heard for sure, but I’m not satisfied. I think that something needs to be done. Everybody wants to give you their concerns, and they want to shed a tear with you and all of that, and tell you how sad it was. But then the action part, that’s where it stops. 

And not all of them. Some politicians want to make change. Others, they won’t move from there. 

As more time passes, how can people still support you all?

I think it’s to continue to write and call and not put this as last week’s news. 

As much as we would like this to never happen again, we know it’s going to happen again. It’s just a matter of time and that’s horrible. Keep making those requests until this stops happening. 

Everybody should be responsible. And I have felt after this happened, I think, some guilt. I think that was the problem immediately, was like I wasn’t doing enough, because selfishly, it was like, I’m doing other things.

And I would have never thought that this was going to happen to us, especially not at a place like Annunciation. And I think that’s what everybody says. And the thing is, yeah, it’s not going to happen to you until it does. And then I was left with thinking I should have been doing more all along.

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Ivan Ayala has three kids who attend Annunciation Catholic School. His 7-year-old son was injured during the mass shooting two months ago. Ayala, along with other parents, is now dedicated to making sure it never happens again. 

‘This is now our mission forever:’ Father of Annunciation survivor pushes for change

Courtesy Ivan Ayala

Three kids take first day of school photo

‘This is now our mission forever’: Father of Annunciation survivor pushes for change

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