Heavy snow and difficult travel expected again, heaviest snow in southern Minnesota

MPR News helps you turn down the noise and build shared understanding. Turn up your support for this public resource and keep trusted journalism accessible to all. 

Turn Up Your Support

Advice columnist and essayist Heather Havrilesky started a media firestorm late last year when she published her opinion piece: “

Foreverland: On the Divine Tedium of Marriage

.” And as you might expect, if you want to read a romantic, shiny, passionate book about how marriage is the best thing to happen to humanity, “Foreverland” isn’t it. 

Instead Havrilesky writes that marriage is both amazing and amazingly awful. 

“So much of a marriage is two people asking very explicitly for what they need — which is the opposite of falling in love,” says Havrilesky. “Falling in love is, ‘Oh, you’re going to read my mind and know everything I want, magically, and I’ll never have to deign to say it.’ But marriage is — OK, slow down, I’m going to have to tell you in extreme detail what I need here, and I need you to listen.” 

Her honest take on what it means to be married to the same person for a long time is both bracing and refreshing. 

Host Kerri Miller talked with Havrilesky about how our parents influence our choice in a mate, how we tend to be afraid to talk about the hard stretches of long relationships, and how our view of marriage today affects the next generation. 

Use the audio player above to listen to the author interview.

Subscribe to the MPR News with Kerri Miller podcast on 

for the latest book and author news and must-read recommendations.

Arts and Culture

The Thread® - Books and Literary News

Shows

Big Books & Bold Ideas with Kerri Miller

Host

Author

If we knew then what we know now, would we jump into the pool of matrimony quite so quickly? A new book takes a look at the joys and irritations of being with the same person for a long time. 

Advice columnist and essayist Heather Havrilesky started a media firestorm late last year when she published her opinion piece: “Why Marriage Requires Amnesia.” It was adapted from her new book, “Foreverland: On the Divine Tedium of Marriage.” And as you might expect, if you want to read a romantic, shiny, passionate book about how marriage is the best thing to happen to humanity, “Foreverland” isn’t it. Instead Havrilesky writes that marriage is both amazing and amazingly awful. Host Kerri Miller talked to Havrilesky for this week's Big Books and Bold Ideas conversation.

Heather Havrilesky on the 'divine tedium' of a long marriage

Go Deeper.

Like this?