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When someone we deeply love dies, the grief can be overwhelming. But it also reveals a dichotomy in our brains. 

Neuroscience has learned that we are wired to keep two streams of information running simultaneously about those we love. One stream deals with the day-to-day reality, the memories. The other stream encodes the relationship into the brain with an abiding belief that our loved one will always be there for us. 

Until they are not. Then our brain struggles to reconcile the two conflicting maps. It’s why someone walking through grief might say, “Technically, I know they died last year. But part of me keeps waiting for them to walk in the door.”

Mary-Frances O’Connor studies what happens in the brain while we are grieving, as she directs the Grief, Loss and Social Stress Lab at the University of Arizona. Her new book, “

,” details what brain imaging tells us about the process of saying a forever goodbye to those we love. 

This week, she joined MPR News host Kerri Miller to talk about her book and the lessons she’s learned about the grieving brain.  

To listen to the full conversation you can use the audio player above.

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More than 50 years ago, Swiss psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced the world to the five stages of grief, a model that shaped how many of us approach bereavement. But neuroscience is widening the lens. Mary-Frances O’Connor details how grief rewires the brain in her new book, and why we often struggle to accept the loss. 

Mary-Frances O'Connor on 'The Grieving Brain'

A book cover and a picture of the author.

Mary-Frances O'Connor on 'The Grieving Brain'

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