New program looking for fosters to help keep domestic violence survivors with their pets
A pet clinic held in Ponemah on June 21, 2023.
Mathew Holding Eagle III | MPR News
It’s difficult for survivors of intimate partner violence to leave their abusers for many reasons that are often complex. Here’s one you may not think about: concern for their pets.
A 2021 review of research shows there’s a link between violence against animals and intimate partner violence. Abusers often threaten or harm pets as a way of hurting and controlling their partners. And pets can be used as leverage to compel survivors to stay or return.
A coalition of shelters and animal welfare groups in the Twin Cities have teamed up to form a new emergency foster care program. It includes Women’s Advocates, Cornerstone, Tubman, The Bond Between and Four Winds Connections.
Joining MPR News host Cathy Wurzer to talk about the program is Maggie Schmitz, marketing director with The Bond Between, and Paula, a survivor advisory council member with Women’s Advocates (she is identified by her first name only for safety reasons.)
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People wanting to help can fill out an interest form for fostering or transferring with the Minnesota Pet Foster Coalition.
You can fill out this form if you are interested in fostering.
If you are living in an unsafe situation, you can call the Women’s Advocates crisis line to speak with an advocate who can help. The number to call is 651-227-8284.
Use the audio player above to listen to the full conversation.
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Audio transcript
CATHY WURZER: It is difficult for survivors of intimate partner violence to leave their abusers for many reasons that are often complex. Now here's one you might not think about, concern for their pets. A 2021 review of research shows there is a link between violence against animals and intimate partner violence.
Abusers often threaten or harm pets as a way of hurting and controlling their partners. And pets can be used as leverage to compel survivors to stay or return. A coalition of shelters and animal welfare groups in the Twin Cities have teamed up to form a new emergency foster care program.
Joining us to talk about it, is Maggie Schmitz, Marketing Director with the group the Bond Between, and Paula, a survivor advisory council member with Women's Advocates. We're going to use her first name only for safety reasons. Thank you both for joining us.
MAGGIE SCHMITZ: Thanks for having us.
PAULA: Thanks for having us.
CATHY WURZER: Thanks Maggie, and Thanks Paula. Paula, I'm going to start with you. I understand this was your idea based on your own personal experience. Gosh, what happened to you? What did it take to get you and your pets to safety?
PAULA: Well, Cathy, back in 2020 is when I actually had left my abuser. So that was right in the throes of COVID. And so I ended up-- I really was isolated at that time, didn't have a lot of friends or family near me.
My two adult daughters were living out on the Coast. So when I left, I had called my co-worker because she happened to know a little bit about my situation. And so I had called her.
And I didn't have a lot of time. Because it was like the day I knew, I only had that day to leave. I decided on that day to leave. But I knew I was not going to leave my cats behind.
And there was just-- I couldn't do it. So I called her. I said, hey, can you take my cat? Can you take them for a couple of days? I need to get out.
And she's like, yeah, we'll make it work. Just come over. Pack your stuff get. Them over. So I got them over right away. And that was only a temporary solution because she was not able to keep them.
So on that particular day, I don't know how many times I was going to go back again because I didn't know what I was going to do with my cats. And I'm like I don't want them-- you know, nothing to happen to them.
So I did end up in a shelter that was actually about three hours away from where I was at. And my coworker friend had my cats for a couple of days. And then that turned into a week or two weeks.
And I was at the shelter. And I needed to get my cats back. So I had an advocate that was there. She worked tirelessly for me. She ended up finding a place called RedRover.
They ended up helping us. And I ended up being in that shelter for three months. I didn't realize like how long it was going to take for me to get back on my feet.
But I'll tell you, once they got in at a certain-- I still had to do the legwork. I had to find a boarding place. They were going to pay for everything. But once I knew that they were in a safe place, I can't tell you how much was lifted off my shoulders. Because I just wanted them to be safe.
CATHY WURZER: Well, because pets are our family, right? I mean, my gosh. I'm wondering, Maggie, when you hear Paula's story, how does this new program that you're working on, how might that have helped a person like, Paula?
MAGGIE SCHMITZ: I think it would help a lot. And that's really our goal in sharing this story. And thank you, Paula, for sharing your story and for inspiring this program. Part of the Bond Between's mission is to keep pets with the people who love them.
Like you said, they are our family. And so we started our respite foster care program to do just that, help people when they needed emergency foster care. And the key to this program is partnership.
The Bond Between, we're experts in animal well-being. And we could see that there was a need for this in the community for people like you, Paula. But we wanted to support people, too.
And that's where the advocates come in. So having the three largest advocate organizations, Women's Advocates, Cornerstone, and Tubman, involved in this coalition along with the Bond Between and Animal Humane Society, and Four Winds Connections, were really able to pool so many resources to help these people in these situations in the Twin Cities. And it's a new type of resource that we've never seen in the Twin Cities before.
CATHY WURZER: You know I'm wondering. And Paula, I don't know if this happened to you, but, obviously, you know that when you leave, that is a very dangerous time for survivors, right? And I'm wondering did your abuser-- did he try to locate you through your cats?
PAULA: Well, so what happened is I originally was going to stay with this coworker because I thought I had not told him where she lived. But then I realized I had driven by there one time. And said, oh, this is where so-and-so lived.
And honestly, he did go there. But thankfully, I was out of the house. But I knew if I left my pets behind, I knew that he would use that to get me back because he had already said some things through the years about.
And I had just had a dog that had died, my pet dog, who was 15. And her name was Maggie, a Springer. But she had just died a few months before. So I had lost her, as well.
And cats were a little easier to move. You know what I mean? So actually, had this program been around when I had my dog, too, and I knew about it, honestly, it really would have helped me a lot. I stayed for my animals. That's all I had at that point.
CATHY WURZER: Maggie, because it is a dangerous thing, what should folks keep in mind when they leave with their pets?
MAGGIE SCHMITZ: I think the biggest thing is to just really rely on some of these advocate organizations. If you are listening to this, and you feel like you're in a relationship where this might be happening to you, and you have pets, this program is here to help you leave.
And so we really encourage you to connect with Women's Advocates, to call their crisis line, to call the day one line, which I know we can share those numbers online or share the Women's Advocates website online, as well. But we really encourage you to work with them because if you want to file an order of protection, or you need some help with resources, or questions, anything you might need as you leave, there are advocates that will be there to help you through the entire process and help you navigate this.
CATHY WURZER: Do you have enough fosters to help?
MAGGIE SCHMITZ: That's actually one of the biggest reasons we wanted to talk about this today. We are looking for people in the Twin Cities community to help by volunteering to foster an animal temporarily. You can foster for a short-term up to 72 hours in those emergency situations, where we're just looking for a place to put the pets for a day or two while we figure out a long-term solution.
Or you can long-term foster, and that would be for up to 90 days. And you can learn more about that at the bondbetween.org. And the Bond Between provides all the supplies, the food, the vetting, and foster support.
So if you have a space in your home for an animal, and you feel like you could help, we're here to support you as the foster 100% of the way. And then you can open that space in your home to help a victim survivor as they go through this process.
CATHY WURZER: Gosh, I bet those poor babies are also traumatized, too, like their owner is?
MAGGIE SCHMITZ: Yes, yeah. And they just need love, and support, and an advocate.
CATHY WURZER: So, Paula, do you have your kitties now?
PAULA: So my cats were older. So one of them has passed away, and Penny did. But I have Stella. And Stella is actually going to be 18 this year.
I just had her for so long. And so she's still with me. And I have to say during that time, even during COVID, I was able to Facetime with them, with the people. And that alone, also was a comfort for me.
And so, also, just a quick thing about what Cathy was saying, it's also I wanted to remind people that I did not know I was in an abusive situation, to be quite honest for 17 years. I thought it was physical.
I thought abuse was physical. And I'm an educated woman. And so I just want people to know that abuse is more than just being hit. And so, please, call a shelter because I did that.
And once I started talking to an advocate, that's how I was able to prepare. And I didn't know I was going to leave that day. But I did get out, and I'm doing fantastic.
And my pet is doing fantastic. And just so happy this organization or this came together between Women's Advocates and the Bond Between. I just think it's a great resource for people out there. So I hope there's foster parents that'll do this because it's temporary. And you can really save a life by doing it.
CATHY WURZER: Well, Paula, we're really glad that you're doing OK. Thank you for telling your story. That's a really brave thing to do. And Maggie, as you say, you're looking for a short-term fosters. So we'll give that number out to folks right now.
Thanks to both of you. And thanks for the information. Best of luck.
PAULA: Thank you, Cathy, for having us.
CATHY WURZER: I appreciate it. Maggie Schmitz has been with us. Maggie is the marketing director for the Bond Between. Paula is a member of the Survivor Advocacy Board of Women's Advocates.
Now, as you heard, if you're living in an unsafe situation, you can call Minnesota Day One hotline to talk with an advocate who can help you. The number to call is 1-866-223-111, or you can text 612-399-9995. Now if you want to foster a pet, and we have this new pet foster coalition that we talked about, you can go to our website mprnews.org.
Abusers often threaten or harm pets as a way of hurting and controlling their partners. And pets can be used as leverage to compel survivors to stay or return. A coalition of shelters and animal welfare groups in the Twin Cities have teamed up to form a new emergency foster care program.
Joining us to talk about it, is Maggie Schmitz, Marketing Director with the group the Bond Between, and Paula, a survivor advisory council member with Women's Advocates. We're going to use her first name only for safety reasons. Thank you both for joining us.
MAGGIE SCHMITZ: Thanks for having us.
PAULA: Thanks for having us.
CATHY WURZER: Thanks Maggie, and Thanks Paula. Paula, I'm going to start with you. I understand this was your idea based on your own personal experience. Gosh, what happened to you? What did it take to get you and your pets to safety?
PAULA: Well, Cathy, back in 2020 is when I actually had left my abuser. So that was right in the throes of COVID. And so I ended up-- I really was isolated at that time, didn't have a lot of friends or family near me.
My two adult daughters were living out on the Coast. So when I left, I had called my co-worker because she happened to know a little bit about my situation. And so I had called her.
And I didn't have a lot of time. Because it was like the day I knew, I only had that day to leave. I decided on that day to leave. But I knew I was not going to leave my cats behind.
And there was just-- I couldn't do it. So I called her. I said, hey, can you take my cat? Can you take them for a couple of days? I need to get out.
And she's like, yeah, we'll make it work. Just come over. Pack your stuff get. Them over. So I got them over right away. And that was only a temporary solution because she was not able to keep them.
So on that particular day, I don't know how many times I was going to go back again because I didn't know what I was going to do with my cats. And I'm like I don't want them-- you know, nothing to happen to them.
So I did end up in a shelter that was actually about three hours away from where I was at. And my coworker friend had my cats for a couple of days. And then that turned into a week or two weeks.
And I was at the shelter. And I needed to get my cats back. So I had an advocate that was there. She worked tirelessly for me. She ended up finding a place called RedRover.
They ended up helping us. And I ended up being in that shelter for three months. I didn't realize like how long it was going to take for me to get back on my feet.
But I'll tell you, once they got in at a certain-- I still had to do the legwork. I had to find a boarding place. They were going to pay for everything. But once I knew that they were in a safe place, I can't tell you how much was lifted off my shoulders. Because I just wanted them to be safe.
CATHY WURZER: Well, because pets are our family, right? I mean, my gosh. I'm wondering, Maggie, when you hear Paula's story, how does this new program that you're working on, how might that have helped a person like, Paula?
MAGGIE SCHMITZ: I think it would help a lot. And that's really our goal in sharing this story. And thank you, Paula, for sharing your story and for inspiring this program. Part of the Bond Between's mission is to keep pets with the people who love them.
Like you said, they are our family. And so we started our respite foster care program to do just that, help people when they needed emergency foster care. And the key to this program is partnership.
The Bond Between, we're experts in animal well-being. And we could see that there was a need for this in the community for people like you, Paula. But we wanted to support people, too.
And that's where the advocates come in. So having the three largest advocate organizations, Women's Advocates, Cornerstone, and Tubman, involved in this coalition along with the Bond Between and Animal Humane Society, and Four Winds Connections, were really able to pool so many resources to help these people in these situations in the Twin Cities. And it's a new type of resource that we've never seen in the Twin Cities before.
CATHY WURZER: You know I'm wondering. And Paula, I don't know if this happened to you, but, obviously, you know that when you leave, that is a very dangerous time for survivors, right? And I'm wondering did your abuser-- did he try to locate you through your cats?
PAULA: Well, so what happened is I originally was going to stay with this coworker because I thought I had not told him where she lived. But then I realized I had driven by there one time. And said, oh, this is where so-and-so lived.
And honestly, he did go there. But thankfully, I was out of the house. But I knew if I left my pets behind, I knew that he would use that to get me back because he had already said some things through the years about.
And I had just had a dog that had died, my pet dog, who was 15. And her name was Maggie, a Springer. But she had just died a few months before. So I had lost her, as well.
And cats were a little easier to move. You know what I mean? So actually, had this program been around when I had my dog, too, and I knew about it, honestly, it really would have helped me a lot. I stayed for my animals. That's all I had at that point.
CATHY WURZER: Maggie, because it is a dangerous thing, what should folks keep in mind when they leave with their pets?
MAGGIE SCHMITZ: I think the biggest thing is to just really rely on some of these advocate organizations. If you are listening to this, and you feel like you're in a relationship where this might be happening to you, and you have pets, this program is here to help you leave.
And so we really encourage you to connect with Women's Advocates, to call their crisis line, to call the day one line, which I know we can share those numbers online or share the Women's Advocates website online, as well. But we really encourage you to work with them because if you want to file an order of protection, or you need some help with resources, or questions, anything you might need as you leave, there are advocates that will be there to help you through the entire process and help you navigate this.
CATHY WURZER: Do you have enough fosters to help?
MAGGIE SCHMITZ: That's actually one of the biggest reasons we wanted to talk about this today. We are looking for people in the Twin Cities community to help by volunteering to foster an animal temporarily. You can foster for a short-term up to 72 hours in those emergency situations, where we're just looking for a place to put the pets for a day or two while we figure out a long-term solution.
Or you can long-term foster, and that would be for up to 90 days. And you can learn more about that at the bondbetween.org. And the Bond Between provides all the supplies, the food, the vetting, and foster support.
So if you have a space in your home for an animal, and you feel like you could help, we're here to support you as the foster 100% of the way. And then you can open that space in your home to help a victim survivor as they go through this process.
CATHY WURZER: Gosh, I bet those poor babies are also traumatized, too, like their owner is?
MAGGIE SCHMITZ: Yes, yeah. And they just need love, and support, and an advocate.
CATHY WURZER: So, Paula, do you have your kitties now?
PAULA: So my cats were older. So one of them has passed away, and Penny did. But I have Stella. And Stella is actually going to be 18 this year.
I just had her for so long. And so she's still with me. And I have to say during that time, even during COVID, I was able to Facetime with them, with the people. And that alone, also was a comfort for me.
And so, also, just a quick thing about what Cathy was saying, it's also I wanted to remind people that I did not know I was in an abusive situation, to be quite honest for 17 years. I thought it was physical.
I thought abuse was physical. And I'm an educated woman. And so I just want people to know that abuse is more than just being hit. And so, please, call a shelter because I did that.
And once I started talking to an advocate, that's how I was able to prepare. And I didn't know I was going to leave that day. But I did get out, and I'm doing fantastic.
And my pet is doing fantastic. And just so happy this organization or this came together between Women's Advocates and the Bond Between. I just think it's a great resource for people out there. So I hope there's foster parents that'll do this because it's temporary. And you can really save a life by doing it.
CATHY WURZER: Well, Paula, we're really glad that you're doing OK. Thank you for telling your story. That's a really brave thing to do. And Maggie, as you say, you're looking for a short-term fosters. So we'll give that number out to folks right now.
Thanks to both of you. And thanks for the information. Best of luck.
PAULA: Thank you, Cathy, for having us.
CATHY WURZER: I appreciate it. Maggie Schmitz has been with us. Maggie is the marketing director for the Bond Between. Paula is a member of the Survivor Advocacy Board of Women's Advocates.
Now, as you heard, if you're living in an unsafe situation, you can call Minnesota Day One hotline to talk with an advocate who can help you. The number to call is 1-866-223-111, or you can text 612-399-9995. Now if you want to foster a pet, and we have this new pet foster coalition that we talked about, you can go to our website mprnews.org.
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