Deaths of Brainerd middle schoolers prompt calls to address bullying, mental health
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The Brainerd-Baxter community is grieving after two middle-school students died by suicide within a few weeks.
The deaths have sparked difficult conversations about bullying and mental health, along with the roles of schools and communities in protecting young people.
Last weekend, despite scorching heat, a crowd lined a busy Brainerd street for what organizers called a peaceful assembly. They held signs reading "Stop bullying" and "Be kind. You never know who is fighting to stay."
Other posters displayed photos of two smiling girls, 11-year-old Ava Starr and 13-year-old Alexis Thornton. Both were students at Forestview Middle School in Baxter.
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Ava died by suicide on June 19. Alexis took her own life just three weeks later on July 10. Both families say the girls were bullied by other students.
Chantel Smith, Alexis’s mom, described her heartbreak.
"Waking up every day and realizing she's not coming out of her room, or hearing her voice, seeing her jump around, smile, laugh, giggle … Those are the moments I'm going to miss the most,” Smith said.
Alexis's parents both wore purple shirts with their daughter's photo as they accepted hugs from friends and strangers.
“It feels amazing to see everybody wants to see change,” Smith said.
Alexis’s parents say she was bullied in and outside of school. Alexis was biracial, and her parents said some of the bullying targeted her skin color and physical features.
"It made such a beautiful girl want to change her appearance,” said her dad, Brent Willis. “She was created beautiful. There was nothing wrong with my daughter. Nothing.”
The girls' deaths have prompted calls for the Brainerd school district and the community to do more to prevent bullying and suicide.
Eleven-year-old Elizabeth Houle attends Forestview Middle School and knew Ava, who was her age.
"Bullying is not OK,” Houle said. “Some people think that everyone revolves around them, but it's not true. People have emotions."
Elizabeth’s mother, Sandy Houle, said her own children have experienced bullying at school. She said she hopes the community can find ways to better support struggling students, whether that's stronger consequences for bullies or more counseling in schools.
"We need to get to the root of why that’s what people think is the solution, and do what we can to help stop all this bullying, cyberbullying,” she said. “It's horrible. People can be anonymous and say whatever they want."
Efforts to educate on mental health, suicide
At a Brainerd school board meeting last week, Superintendent Chip Rankin said the district is offering counseling and support to students and families.
Rankin said the district will be looking at any gaps in staffing, programs or training it needs to close to support the mental health and well-being of all its students.
"Our people will return better prepared and better supported than ever to care for our kids, and that's a promise I intend to keep,” he said.
Suicide among younger children is becoming increasingly common. It’s now the second-leading cause of death in the U.S. for children and teens ages 10 to 14, said Marguerite Ohrtman, a teaching associate professor and counselor educator at the University of Minnesota.
“We're definitely seeing more and more younger students complete suicide,” Ohrtman said.
She said one contributing factor might be the increasingly young onset of puberty, during which time adolescents can struggle with emotional regulation and impulse control. Bullying, especially online through social media, also can play a role in self-harm and suicide, she said.
After such a terrible loss, people are often quick to blame and ask what they can do differently, Ohrtman said.
“Sometimes it's really hard in grief not having the answers,” she said. “And when someone commits suicide, we don't necessarily have the answers.”
Ohrtman said a key to reducing bullying and preventing suicide is educating people on how to deal with big feelings, engage civilly with people you disagree with, watch for warning signs that someone is struggling and get them help when needed.
"It comes down to parents, guardians. Everybody needs to get involved in this,” she said. “It's not just the Brainerd community. This is something as a country, as humans, we need to do better."
‘Speak up if you know of anyone who’s struggling’
People at Sunday's gathering said they'll continue pushing for change. Ava's aunt, Shannon Miller, read a statement from Ava’s family.
We want to share the message that bullying is never OK. Mental health is important to support and address.
Today is about spreading the word of kind, being kind to those around us. We miss our Ava more than words can say, and we want to do our part to make sure that this does not happen to anyone else's baby.
Love and hold your babies close, and speak up if you know of anyone who's struggling with their mental health. Call 988 if you need support, or reach out to your family and friends.
Miller said the family wants to make sure no other family has to endure the same loss.
"It doesn't cost anything to be kind,” Miller said. “Clearly, it's an issue everywhere, and we need to come together and figure out how we can break the cycle."
If you or someone you know is in crisis or needs immediate mental health support, call or text the Minnesota Lifeline at 988.
