How not to deep fry a turkey

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Step one: a vat of hot oil. Step two: a big, cold bird. Step three: inexperienced enthusiasm.
What could go wrong?
YouTube is full of ill-advised attempts at deep frying turkey. This is one of a few days when it's acceptable to place them here.
If you simply must fry your turkey in a vat of hot oil, do yourself (and your insurance budget) a favor and check out The Guardian's guide to doing it safely.
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