A family breaks from tradition to honor sister's life, bring awareness to domestic violence
In March of this year, Jennifer Yang, a 36-year-old Anoka County woman, was killed by her husband in what was ruled as a murder-suicide.
Yang's funeral was held on Sunday, and it broke from tradition in notable ways.
For one, it was entirely organized by her side of the family. In situations like this, it is usually the husband’s family who plans the funeral according to Hmong tradition.
“We had to plan everything ourselves and I've never seen anything like that,” her brother David Yang said.
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Domestic violence was also openly discussed at the funeral. Yang’s sister-in-law, Mandy Vang, said it’s taboo to talk about domestic violence in the Hmong community in any setting, but especially so at a funeral.
“That was the tipping point for us: to really say ‘No, if you all are not going to talk about the big elephant in the room, you're really not celebrating Jennifer's life. And so we, as the maternal family, we're going to take over,’” Vang said.
For Yang’s family, it was important to not only speak out about domestic violence in their community, but to also share resources for anyone who may be in a similar situation as their sister.
Local domestic violence organizations the Domestic Abuse Project, Transforming Generations, and the Hmong Family Strengthening Helpline were all present for the event.
Two local artists also wrote and performed a song for the occasion called, “Ua Siab Ntev,” which translates to 'be patient.’
It’s a refrain Hmong women often hear in moments of marital difficulty, Vang explained, and something she remembers hearing on her wedding day.
“[It’s] instructing me already from the get-go [that] this is all on your shoulders. Whatever happens in your marriage is your responsibility as the wife,” Vang said.
The funeral was also open to the public — a decision that Vang shared was never a question from the start.
“We do not want this tragedy to be for nothing,” Vang said. “If anything were to come from it, it is to bring awareness to the situation so that there is not another Jennifer, there's not another Jennifer and grieving family, Jennifer and motherless and fatherless children.”
For our full conversation with Mandy Vang and David Yang, click play on the audio player above.