Minnesota-born comedian shares 'Tiny Pep Talks' for everyday struggles

NINA MOINI: Life can be a bit awkward and annoying for all of us. Whether you're gathering the courage to make a doctor's appointment finally, or telling a server the food isn't really what you ordered, maybe you're throwing a party, but no one's there yet. That's where Minnesota born comedian Paula Skaggs comes in. Her new book, Tiny Pep Talks, co-written with Josh Linden, aims to gas us up for all the low stakes situations in life where we might need a boost. Paula is on the line now. Welcome to Minnesota Now.

PAULA SKAGGS: Hi. Thank you so much for having me. I'm so happy to be here.

NINA MOINI: Oh, thank you, so are we. What a book that really helps people. So you're a comedian and I wonder what is the connection between being a comedian and pep talks for you, or is there none? Is it two different parts of your life?

PAULA SKAGGS: Yes. So this book was created. There was a lot of steps that went into this process. Josh Linden and I who's my co-author, we met doing improv comedy, and then from there we did what a lot of improvisers do, which was start a podcast. From the podcast we created a card game called No Wrong Answers, it's funny little conversation starters.

And then through that, we took that sensibility and we came up with this idea for funny little pep talks and met the good people at Quirk Books and we were lucky enough to be able to turn it into a book.

NINA MOINI: And so I mentioned off the top, this isn't for the biggest things in life that can be really challenging. This is for--

PAULA SKAGGS: Or really small thing.

NINA MOINI: Yeah, like inconveniences and they are funny in a way or at least in retrospect. So I wondered if you'd give us an example of one of your pep talks. I hear you have one for parallel parking and really, who among us couldn't use a pep talk for parallel parking. So I wonder what you tell folks about that.

PAULA SKAGGS: Absolutely. So I can read this one for when you have to parallel park. Look who it is, the best driver in the world. In fact you are so good at driving that the government got together and gave you a cute little card granting you permission to drive a two ton steel machine around at 65 miles per hour.

Look at you go. We get it. Parallel parking is hard. Cars just weren't meant to go sideways, but you've made it this far. Take a deep breath, adjust the rear view mirror and take your time.

Nobody is judging you, we've all been there. Plus, if you bump into the car behind you a little bit, is it really that big of a deal? If they really cared about their car, they shouldn't have been parking on the street for anyone to hit. So that's on them.

NINA MOINI: Wow. I think I need these pep talks throughout the day, just maybe your voice just constantly there.

PAULA SKAGGS: Honestly that parallel parking one is the one I repeat in my head quite a bit.

NINA MOINI: Well, so I know you live in Chicago now, maybe you're parallel parking a bunch there. I don't know but-- you grew up here in southwestern Minnesota, you went to Saint Olaf. And I'm curious, is there something Minnesota nice or Midwestern about these pep talks? Sometimes the stereotype is Midwesterners, maybe in Chicago too, sometimes have a hard time, like being direct, asking for what they need, like being in their power. What do you think about that?

PAULA SKAGGS: Absolutely. So I think that being from Minnesota and growing up in a small town and just being Midwestern, I think there's some specific qualities that come with that, connectedness and looking out for your neighbor and a can do attitude and willing to roll up your sleeves when things get rough or things get weird. And I think that has always influenced me as a person and as a writer.

And I also think that comes through the book, whether it's the pep talk for when there's spinach in your teeth or the pep talk for when you're asking for a raise. I think that there's something very Minnesotan about it all.

NINA MOINI: You're helping your neighbors with all of this advice.

PAULA SKAGGS: Even if it's the little things.

NINA MOINI: You mentioned a little bit ago about your card game, No Wrong Answers that you and your partner Josh Linden created. Will you tell me a little bit more about the game and how it works?

PAULA SKAGGS: So No Wrong Answers is not a traditional card game with specific rules and winners and losers, it's a project that came out of the throes of the pandemic, when we couldn't be in our theaters and couldn't be with our community, and we were just sick of talking about the same things with the same people all the time. So there are questions that our goal is there are things that you haven't thought to ask people before.

So which serial mascot would be the best kisser? Or if you owned a boutique candle shop, what is your worst selling scent? So just fun, absurd things like that with maybe you play the whole deck or maybe you just play one or two, or we've known people that get a deck and then they play a card or two at dinner each night together. So it's been really fun to see how it brings people together, even if they're talking about really absurd things.

NINA MOINI: It sounds like it's something you could play like as an icebreaker or something with people you really, really know well and you're just looking to have different conversations. So that sounds useful as well. It sounds like what you're putting out into the world, like it's funny, but it's still sincere at the core and I feel like you have a really positive upbeat outlook. Why do you feel like you identify with that when it's easy to be like dark and cynical, especially in comedy?

PAULA SKAGGS: I think that's something that brought Josh, my co-author and I together very early on. I think we first started talking because we found these really sincere movie reviews online for very absurd movies. People that said, the Will Smith classic hitch changed their life. And we just really loved the earnestness and the sincerity of that. And I think that it's just something that's always brought us a lot of joy, and we hope brings other people joy as well.

NINA MOINI: And so you're wanting to bring people joy, aside from that, what do you hope people take away from the book?

PAULA SKAGGS: I hope that people take away from the book that we are really all in it together. And some of these pep talks can feel a little silly for when you're doing karaoke or for when you want to rage, quit your job or things like that. But we pick them because Josh and I are anxious people and these are things that we have actually felt before.

And as we were talking to people, we realized that we all feel like that. And sometimes it can feel strange or embarrassing or maybe a little bit vulnerable to ask people, to tell people that you're feeling nervous or you're feeling a little shy, or you could use a little pep talk for some of these really specific, mundane situations that can feel really big.

And we just hope people that take away from this is that you're not alone, that we're really all in it together, and that we can take these things that might feel scary or might feel embarrassing to feel scary. And we can find a little bit of joy in it together, and we can really do it all together. We have your back.

NINA MOINI: I love that. Thanksgiving is coming up. Holidays coming up this weekend. A lot of people getting together with extended families.

And I bet some of our listeners might have mixed feelings about that. They might be able to use a pep talk. What would you tell folks? Give us a little pep talk.

PAULA SKAGGS: So we do have one in the book that I think might feel especially relevant for some people this week, that's called for when you're going to have to see that one cousin. And this one is written as parody lyrics to the tune of Santa Claus is coming to town. I am not going to put the good people of Minnesota through having to listen to me sing, but start out with you better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout.

I'm telling you why that one cousin's coming to town. And the gist of this one is there's no shame in just taking your phone into the bathroom and getting a few minutes of silence during these holidays. And just remember that you only have to see that one cousin, hopefully a couple times a year. So you can do it.

And we have some others in the book for dealing with different friends and family dynamics. Whether they pop up this week with everybody gathering together or whether it's just throughout the year. In fact, we have a whole section on that. So some other ones that might be helpful this week.

We have one on for when you're worried your friends are all secretly mad at you, or for when you can see your parents are gearing to have a big conversation before the end of your visit, or when you're throwing a party and no one's there yet, or one that feels very relevant to me sometimes when your friends keep suggesting a podcast that you have no intention in listening to.

NINA MOINI: I love that. I love your good old hide in the bathroom pep talk for Thanksgiving.

PAULA SKAGGS: I mean, it's simple that--

NINA MOINI: Straight to the point

PAULA SKAGGS: --I really do think it works.

NINA MOINI: Hide in the bathroom. Well, Paula, this was a lot of fun and we really appreciate you coming on. We hope you will come back and visit us another time.

PAULA SKAGGS: Absolutely. Thank you so much for having me. It's been an honor.

NINA MOINI: Have a great one. Have a great holiday weekend. That was comedian and Minnesota Native Paula Skaggs. Her new book, Tiny Pep Talks, is out now.