Young girls often struggle with self-esteem. This Minnesota native is ready to help
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In every corner of Minnesota, there are good stories waiting to be told of places that make our state great and people who in Walt Whitman’s words “contribute a verse” each day. MPR News sent longtime reporter Dan Gunderson on a mission to capture those stories as part of a series called “Wander & Wonder: Exploring Minnesota’s unexpected places.”
Missy Heilman stands in front of a couple dozen young girls sitting cross-legged on the floor in a Fargo church. Dressed in a T-shirt, shorts and neon green running shoes, she asks the girls, "What have you been nervous about in the last week?"
One girl says she was nervous she might have to miss this meeting. Another was anxious about feeling unprepared for a math class.
Heilman then shares a personal story about performing with her 11-year-old daughter at a recent music recital. "I got butterflies in my stomach,” she told them. “Do you guys get butterflies in your stomach when you get nervous?"
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That kind of conversation sits at the core of the curriculum for BIO Girls, the nonprofit Heilman founded in 2013 to boost the mental health of adolescent girls. BIO stands for Beautiful Inside and Out.
“Our world tells girls that they're not enough just the way that they are — they should be prettier, they need to be smarter, they need to be taller. Maybe they're not popular enough,” said Heilman, 47. “We believe that when girls discover their inner beauty, it shines on the outside as well.”
BIO Girls focuses on healthy relationships, kindness, leadership and mental health. Girls from second to sixth grade are the target audience. Those are critical ages to give girls the skills to build their self-esteem, Heilman said.
"Confidence is something that can be faked, to be quite honest,” she said. “But self-esteem is how you feel about you most of the time."
There’s no doubt that kind of intervention is needed. Recent data shows a heartbreaking trend of girls struggling emotionally in high school.
Nearly half of the 11th grade girls responding to the 2022 Minnesota Student Survey reported long-term mental health, behavioral or emotional problems — a 10 percentage point increase over 2019. While the COVID-19 pandemic likely pushed those numbers higher, only 20 percent of 11th grade boys reported similar problems.
Growing up in southwestern Minnesota in the small town of Odin, Heilman said she was always aware that women were objectified in American culture. "But it really didn't hit me until I had daughters of my own,” she said.
“When I saw that through the lens of my little girls, my heart broke and I wanted to do something about it."
‘Something bigger than yourself’
Heilman said friendship issues are the number one concern for parents of girls in the program.
"What are healthy friendships, what are unhealthy friendships and what are some of the signs of that," she said.
Girls learn about being kind to others, and they do a community service project to put that lesson into practice. But Heilman also emphasizes being kind to themselves.
"Girls far more likely than boys, when they develop that inner voice around third-fourth grade, that inner voice is a critic,” she said. “We work with girls to change that narrative, to be as kind to themselves as they would be to their friend."
Physical activity is part of the program. Many sessions end with a run, and girls work toward completing a 5K run. Heilman said she wants the girls to learn that physical activity can improve mental health if the focus is on personal growth.
"Our society is so focused on achievement and success, and we're forgetting to celebrate the progress along the way and celebrating people for their value not for their achievements," she said.
It's important to teach them to understand and manage emotions, she added. “If we can teach those skills, they can learn how to deal with those emotions, which then prevents some of those feelings of anxiety.”
Mentors are a key part of the program, working with girls in small groups and providing a support system that often continues after the program ends.
Spirituality is also part of the curriculum. Sessions start with a short nondenominational devotion. At least one group uses lessons from the Quran. The girls are not required to participate, but Heilman wants them to think about the role of spirituality in their lives.
“It's important because it's grounding, it's meditative, it's something bigger than yourself that you believe in. It brings people together,” she said.
BIO Girls is active in 120 communities in Minnesota, Wisconsin, Iowa and the Dakotas. Heilman said the organization uses a validated survey to help understand how girls respond to the program. In 2024, 70 percent of participants reported increased self-esteem, and 50 percent experienced decreased anxiety after completing the BIO Girls 12-week session.
Each three month program costs $270 per student; nearly half of the girls get financial aid thanks to donors.
Dereck Richter has two daughters in BIO Girls and believes it’s a great investment.
“If you can start them out now, and you can curb some of the mental health issues that they might develop as they grow older, how can you put a value on that?” he said.
His wife Lisa has been a mentor in the program for 11 years, investing about two hours a week during each 12 week program. As a regular runner, she likes the emphasis on physical activity.
“It's so fun to watch them, just like setting goals for themselves throughout the season, and watching them work towards them every week,” she said.
Heilman finds inspiration from small moments of success. She recounts a story of a second grader who defended another child being bullied on the playground.
"And she told her mom about this after school, and her mom said, ‘I'm really proud of you for doing that.’ And she said, ‘That's what BIO Girls do.’"
