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Jeff Ernewein is a photographer at KSTP-TV. He was also a firefighter for 12 years, retiring in 2021, so he’s no stranger to chaotic, traumatic scenes. 

Ernewein was one of the first journalists at the scene of 

, which has now claimed the lives of four children. Their mother, 28-year-old Ker Lor, and her 3- and 6-year-old kids remain in the hospital. Their father Pa Cheng Vang — who was at work when the fire broke out — started a 

 to cover the cost of funerals and other expenses. That’s since raised nearly $450,000 as of Wednesday morning.

When the 911 call about the fire on the 1200 block of Arkwright Street North, Ernewein says the dispatcher could hear yelling, smoke alarms blaring and a child. When he got to the scene, he saw emergency crews performing CPR on a 4-year-old child. 

“It brought back all kinds of memories from my time in the fire service,” Ernewein said. “There’s a saying that we have. It’s: ‘I wish my mind could forget what my eyes have seen.’ And it rang true that morning for me.” 

It’s no secret that EMTs, firefighters, paramedics and journalists see a lot of terrible, traumatic things. That can lead to burnout, deteriorating mental health and developing conditions like PTSD. 

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Fourth child dies from injuries suffered in St. Paul house fire

“You can’t bottle up and say… it happened, it’s over. No, it’s never over, you’re always gonna think about it,” Ernewein said. And I can think back to some severe pediatric cases that I, you know, served a medical role in, and it’s just those kids never go away. Those faces never go away.”

He says speaking with family isn’t enough, because unless you share traumatic experiences — such as giving a child chest compressions — there lacks a shared understanding. 

“It’s a whole different world and you just have to have the right support system and the right people to go to. And don’t be afraid to talk,” he said. 

Ernewein is a second-generation firefighter, having followed in his father’s footsteps and learning that death is a part of life from a young age. He served in Hermantown for five years, then in North St. Paul for seven. No matter whether firefighters do it for the adrenaline or to help people, Ernewein says it’s a “selfless service.”

“You give up a lot for it; I gave up time with my family,” he told MPR News. “My pager went off, it was time to go. Whatever I was doing, you know, I gotta go. And it took a lot of, you know, a lot of working with the family to understand that this is just, I’m not having a good time. This is what I do. This is an important thing to be a part of, and I was more than honored to do it for the time I served.”

Ernewein’s biggest advice for surviving a fire?

“I will preach this to the day I die: sleep with your door closed… That little flimsy bedroom door can buy you so much time to get out if your house is on fire." 

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Jeff Ernewein is a photographer at KSTP-TV. He was also a firefighter for 12 years. He was one of the first journalists at the scene of last week’s St. Paul house fire.

The toll that tragedies like the deadly St. Paul house fire have on first responders

A man in a firefighter suit holding a baby.

Courtesy of Jeff Ernewein

A firefighter helmet sits on a shelf labeled "J. Ernewein."

A man is interviewed by a TV crew of journalists.

The toll that tragedies like the deadly St. Paul house fire have on first responders

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